WANTED: GOOD CHRISTIAN FRIENDS! (This is not a real ad, just need tips! Lol)

So ever since classes started I've felt a need to have new friends. I would talk to some people who are apart of the same campus organizations and have some really good conversations but never end up as besties. I know that making friends shouldn't be my biggest concern but I feel lonely and kind of upset. Like God I prayed to you to send me some good friends, I've left the bad ones behind and I am spending more time with you but the result is still zero. I follow Heather Lindsey's Instagram page and in one of her posts she talked about being hidden for a reason because maybe God doesn't you to be distracted from his purpose. But I feel that if I had good christian friends who would brought me closer to God daily then that wouldn't a distraction, right? I know it may sounds cheesy but I dream about having that bubbly, goofy friend who just brings out the best in me and me doing the same as well. I want to go to Bible Study together, Sunday service, hang out at different cafe's and go on road trips. Go to a Lecrae or Hillsong United concert and scream the lyrics to "Oceans" out loud until we're on the floor bawling out in tears. I've always wanted a big sister and I just want someone who can encourage me to do the right things and keep me accountable. Ever since I moved out of my old dorm into my suite its been a little hard to make new friends and almost every chance I get to make new friends I fail. I'm naturally a shy person but once you get to know me I am the craziest girl ever, but my timidness gets in the way a little. It's disappointing to think that within a few weeks left until the end of the semester I am still lonely. I could care less about finding a "Boo thang" I just want a good christian friend to hang out with and gush all day about how good the Lord is! Is that too much or am I dreaming?

Please feel free to comment below with any good tips on making new friends?

Visit and follow my new blog at classyandsaved.com ! :)

Peace& Harmony,

ShayXoXo

Moving On UP! Exciting news to Share!

Hey guys I know that I've been slacking on writing more posts on the blog. Believe it or not I'm always daydreaming in class thinking about what will be my next blog topic and I have written a few in my journal. Blogspot has been my home for two or three years and for this upcoming year I wanted to do something different. classyandsaved.com has every blog that I have ever posted and I am working on some new material at this very minute for you girls. Thank you for all of the love and I hope to see you all at my new site!
The great and very exciting news is that I have now moved to Wordpress which will be a little easier for me and I am hoping that this transition will help me reach out to more people. I started a movement called Classy and Saved which a girl-power faith based organization and blog and something that I've been wanting to do for years but never had the right connections and money to make my goal come true. My new site

Peace & Harmony

Shay Xo Xo

"Not About THAT Life"!: Dorm Life and Dealing with Difficult People

  Over the past three weeks I have been busy doing homework, studying, spending quiet time with Jesus and moving out of my dorm into my new suite. Moved out, the semester just started? Yes I won't go in to too much detail about what happened to cause me to leave the dorm that I was in, but I wanted to share my experience with you on living a college dorm. Naturally I am shy person but once you get to know me I am one of the craziest people you could ever meet. I don't consider myself an introvert because I actually like being in some social settings; and then later crawl into my room, lock my door, and isolate myself from the world. I was an only child for twelve years until my brother was born, and I've always had my own room to myself. My freshman year I was so excited about the idea of  the college experience, living in a dorm and sharing a room with a total stranger. No really I was! Freshman year was okay, but not perfect and I learned a lot from my first year staying in a college dorm. Fast forward to Sophomore year, I was given the option to move in with a friend I knew, and thought to myself maybe this year might be different?

Two weeks ago I had an issue with my roommate which ended in a very negative way. I learned my lesson from the experience and I am using my mistakes as a learning experience to help improve my character. I would ask God why am I going through this bad roommate cycle again? Yes my behavior was unacceptable, but she was wrong too? Or, I am doing everything I can to bring peace to this situation. Lies! I was lying to myself and pointing out anything and everything that she was doing wrong instead of correcting my own mistakes. I was a hypocrite and was believing in my own lies. Whether or not it was my fault that we could not get along with each other, I had said something that I could never take back and probably will never be erased when that person thinks about me. I never wanted to be the one who hurts people because I am hurt. It sucks when you sit down and think about a situation and say to yourself and what the heck was I thinking? I easily could have let the situation go and move on with my life. But no, I had to get revenge and show this person that I am not the one t argue!  My character, my attitude, my happiness, EVERYTHING was centered around this one person and I was no longer in touch with the person that I was supposed to be. I stopped reading my Bible, prayed less, and was using the word as a shield to continue my sin because I 'knew the word.' And because I knew the word, no one could check me or use it against me.WRRRONNG! What I am trying to say is, don't turn into this person! Seriously I don't even know how I transformed into this bitter and selfish woman. I moved out of the room, because staying in the room was making me more stressed out than ever and I knew I had to separate myself from the situation in order to grow. 

Looking back I know I made the right decision to move out because my attitude was not improving and I have more peace with myself and who I want to be. Just my opinion but living in a suite is way more peaceful than sharing a dorm room. I can work out in my room without any interruptions, do my random dance parties, and I have a sense of responsibility cleaning my bathroom and the dinning area. And to be honest as a quiet person, I think having your own space is great, but it does get a little lonely sometimes. In a regular dorm you are forced to be social and step out your comfort zone, which challenged my communication skills and helped me grow. I've learned that in dealing with difficult people that not everything action deserves a reaction. Sometimes it’s just best to pray, walk out of the room, and focus on something else before you say something that you don’t mean. And not just in dealing with roommates but everywhere we go. Everyday we are challenged to take fight or flight when dealing with a difficult person. You could pretend to ignore the person and continue with your own life. Or get involved, hurt the person and yourself in the process, and leave feeling embarrassed. Be the better person and make the decision to give a little more heart than mind because honestly everybody is going through something. There are still good people out there, but you have to put your pride on the side to understand some people. Because it's not all about US! Read Ephesians 5!

Thank you for reading this post!

Peace & Harmony,

Shay

Shake It Off!

Shaking off the haters...literally!

So what do you when you're trying so hard to be nice and mindful of someone but they still throw out hasty and rude comebacks? Sit your tail down and do nothing. Seriously, if they were even worth your time they wouldn't spend every waking hour trying to be a match with you. We live in a society where we fight with each other more than we unite together. We have too many people in this world who put on this mean and hard girl/guy persona, like we're too scared to even let them even see the vulnerable side of us. 😡 We don't want to seem soft or be like a pushover. The side where we actually care about each other and would do anything for that person. Like the new Taylor Swift song (which I am really in love with right now) "Shake it Off", haters are gonna hate and players are gonna play. But I'm just gonna shake it off! 👯 No competing with you, I'm only competing with myself. 💁 Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it (Charles Swindoll- Attitude). 🔁😁 Love yourself, love everybody,👭👬 ❤️ enjoy life, ☺️ 😝😜and keep moving on!  

-SNW💋

The One Who Tried to Come Back

Shea was at peace, spending quiet time with the father and reading Proverbs to herself. Pray, read,and mediate was her daily morning routine for the summer and she was proud of herself for sticking to it this long. Nothing could come between this peace she had with herself and God. Except.... her phone went off with a text from Ex, Josh saying "Hey." Full of confusion, Shea asked herself how the heck did his number get through her blocked numbers list. Being polite yet reluctant about what Josh wanted to say she answered him with a nice "Hello." "Well hate to say you're right but...she (Adriana) broke up with me." Wait, what? Shea thought to herself with eyes and mouth opened wide enough for a fly to jump in. Shea quickly replied to Josh asking him what happened. Shea couldn't believe what she had just read but she wasn't surprised. You see, Josh cheated on Shea with Adriana (the other woman),  who he claimed he was so happy and in love with that he kept both Shea and Adriana as a secret from one another. Over the course of the months after they broke up, Shea had learned a lot about herself,good and bad relationships and God. She had accepted the fact that God closed that door (Josh) to help her move on to something better and live the life he always wanted for her. Shea was stronger, more mature, and wiser than she was at the time of their break up. But the memories of how Josh broke her heart without notice and laughed in her face with his new girlfriend like she was nothing still pondered in her brain. As the conversation with Josh went on, Shea tried her everything to not let her emotions get to her. All the bitterness and anger thoughts she had bottled up inside her poured out on her Imessage and was sent to Josh with no return. As usual, Josh denied everything Shea said and changed the conversation to something more irrelevant. Feeling guilty, Shea apologized to Josh for her little rant and asked for his forgiveness. 

The problem with Shea was she was still not healed from her break up with Josh. Even though their relationship was no more, Shea was still hurting like the day Josh left her. Josh was winning in bringing out the weak and naive little girl Shea used to be. Not wanting to be the mean one, Shea had previously blocked and unblocked Josh's number because she thought that banning his number was making  her look angry and hurt. But every time Josh thought that he could pry his way back into her life, with every text he opened up the scathed wound that Shea was still trying to heal. The question if she and Josh could reconcile and start over as friends did come across her mind sometimes. But truth is Shea had no reason to let Josh back into her life and deny her feelings so that her ex could feel comfortable and hurt her again.


 I'm not writing this to tell you a story about my failed high school/early college relationship for your entertainment. But to show you an example of why us women need to stop being so apologetic for our feelings. I saw a commercial on YouTube the other day showing women in the workplace apologizing for asking a simple question. Saying "I'm sorry" for something that was never their fault. Then at the end of the ad it asked "what are we apologizing for" or a question similar to that? Josh leaving Shea was never her fault because he made that decision on his own. Shea had every right to get angry and remind Josh about everything he did to make her feel so broken. What I am trying to say is that we're in charge of our own happiness and our own thoughts. Who we want and do not want in our life is up to us. We can't stop people from leaving us, but we are welcomed to shut the door and lock it up and move on. If someone is bringing more hurt than help in your life let them go and throw away the key for good. Yes, some people change and a few years from now the memory of the pain they brought into our lives will lessen a little.But when you think back about what if you had let that certain person stay and continue to make the same mistakes, or did you get the chance to learn from the lesson and make wiser decisions. Some people are blessings, and some people are lessons learned. But you don't have to go back and learn the same lesson again. Truth is some people are ashamed to admit that what they are doing is wrong. Stop waiting for that half-hearted "sorry", because trust me it's not coming! Block their number, unfriend or unfollow their page, do whatever you have to do to get that person to that person out of your sight and mind. No, you're not being selfish or unforgiving! You're protecting your heart from being use to the same pain again. I hope that this post helped someone and brought some insight. 

Peace & Harmony,

Shay

Get Over It Girl!

This was just something that was sitting on my heart tonight as I was reading Proverbs 17 and thought that maybe this lesson might be worth sharing with someone. I used the example of anger towards friends or family as a reference but this may touch another issue for someone else.

Scripture:

He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9,NIV.

The way to preserve peace is to make the best of every thing; not notice what has been said or done against ourselves. - Matthew Henry Commentary of Proverbs 17:9

You will keep your friends if you forgive them, but will lose your friends if you keep talking about what they did wrong. -Contemporary English Version

*I like to look up scripture commentary because it helps me understand and reflect on the verse on a deeper level.

Reflection: He who covers an offense (let go or dismisses) promotes love (peace, tranquility, avoids unnecessary quarrels), but whosoever repeats the matter (brings up the issue, revenge, etc.) separates close friends. -This is just me breaking down the Bible verse and using my own words.

I know that I am guilty for doing this. Bringing up old issues about something that happened between me and my friends or family, and making them into new issues (getting bitter over old news). There's that saying "getting bitter is like drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die" (or whatever you say it). You get your feelings hurt and you want the other person to feel the same pain that you felt. You might of heard something said about you, and the first thing you do is say "well she/he did this" or "remember the time when.." just to change the subject to the other persons wrongdoings. Truth is, whatever happened in the past is OVER! Gone and no more! And talking about the issue again, even though you may be looking at the situation wrong in the first place. The fact of the matter is Get Over It! Whatever was said, is said and cannot be taken back. getting revenge or having an attitude everytime you see that person is only going to make the situation more worse. The same goes for feeling the urge to bash someone with slight shady, cutting unloyal and negative people quotes that never really help us and make us even more bitter. But anywho, for now on when I am angry over what somebody said or did I will shut my mouth and move on. Let it go (no Frozen, LOL) and continue to live my life according to God's word  and be the bigger person. One more angry soul to hate me is not what I want, and remaining quiet when someone expects you to be a raging tornado is the most beautiful thing in the world. We must learn to forgive and let go of all bitterness and anger so that we can be forgiven. Replace spite with kindness, and hate with mercy, and forgive just as God forgave you because of Jesus Christ- Ephesians 4:31-32.

My Prayer
God I ask and pray that you give me peace over my enemies. Peace from getting mad over something I cannot change. Peace to love everybody equally and unconditionally like Jesus Christ. If I mess up correct me and show me what I have done. Give me eyes to see the best in people. A heart to love the most unlovable. A mind to think great thoughts. A mouth to speak only words of wisdom and life to every person I talk to. And a body that does not grow weary and honours God everyday of my life. I pray over my friend, family, enemies, associates and me God. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

Peace&Harmony,
Shay

Journey to Natural: 10 months Post Relaxer!

Only two more months until I hit that one year mark in my transitioning journey and I am so excited! Deciding to go natural was not easy especially when you're dealing with two different textures. I can't explain the joy I feel when I run my fingers through my soft and curly natural hair. Typing my natural hair I have discovered that I am 4A with tight S shaped coils. The top picture doesn't really help show my hair texture but youcan definitely see where my wavy new growth ends and where my stringy relaxed ends begin. I would say that my hair is about 75% new growth. I've thought about doing the big chop or at least a mini chop but I still don't feel comfortable with cutting my hair. Right now I'm just going to get frequent trims to get rid of dead relaxed ends. Hopefully at 16 months post relaxer my new growth will be about shoulder length and then I will cut my hair. Until then I am saving my hair with protective styles like Bantu Knots, Braid Outs, and Mini Twists. I can say that following natural hair pages and YouTube has been a great help in finding new hairstyles. I would love to try Sengalese twists again for the upcoming school year so I can speed up the process a little. I do hydrate my hair with water everyday and seal it with Coconut oil to combat dryness and breakage from this summer heat. I love using Aloe Vera Oil and Eco Styler gel to smooth my edges and baby hair. I cowash (wash with conditioner) my hair once a week and do a protein treatment every two weeks with a Keratin treatment.   I like the support I'm getting from my mother and best friend because they are the reason why I have transitioned this long.  I'm falling in love with my natural hair and can't wait to see what my hair will look like a year from now. 

Peace&Harmony, 

Shay❤️

If you are transitioning, natural, or have any questions about my hair journey please comment below!